For me,the Key word is ‘Unintentional-Interior Prayer.’ God, ‘Took me to the ‘place’ where He speaks to your heart – before I knew that it could even happen. I remember not ‘knowing or understanding what was happening or where — that‘ came from. The time that it was most ‘clearly, from God,’ was this experience on May 25.1976 . . . Yes, that was 44 years ago today. It was the Birthday of my daughter, Heather Marie Reardon.

I was twenty-three (23) weeks pregnant with a baby that I wanted very much . . . I became sick on Sunday, and couldn’t keep anything down. I was admitted to the hospital on Monday afternoon at two-thirty in the afternoon. I was served a delirious meal at about 6 pm. It was the first thing that I kept down in two days. My Dr. came to see me after a delivery, He had just found out that I was actually in the hospital! He was not happy to find out I had been given a meal! With the second set of labs, it was decided that my appendix was ‘leaking’ into my abdominal cavity, and I went to surgery that evening.

That was Tuesday. I laid as still as I could, so that I didn’t “stir-up’ my uterus into contractions. But . . . the inevitable happened anyway. That following Saturday I felt constipated, and Dr. ordered an enema to help me. But the reverse happened. My bowels locked-up, – and I was in excruciating pain! My entire abdominal area was as rigid as a table top. I went into solitude inside of myself, to be able to endure the physical and emotional pain. When a nurse came to check on me, she would hold my had to comfort me . . . when I opened my eyes . . . it seemed as though she was six (6) feet away from me . . . and yet holding my hand . . . it was similar to the pictures of Glaucoma . . . A DARK tunnel with a light at the end. and was confusing . . . so I just closed my eyes.

It was now a beautiful – ‘sun-lit May day’ — with the sun shining brightly into my room, the outside wall was all windows. I remember hearing my Doctor’s voice. As I opened my eyes — I was not looking ‘UP’ from my own body on the bed . . . I was about 6 feet above my own head . . . looking ‘DOWN’ — AT ,MY BODY — there on the bed … and — at the doctor and three nurses – at the foot of my bed!

That seemed so very ‘ODD!’ But, that was not all . . . The last time that I opened my eyes . . . it was a bright – sunny day . . . now . . .it was as though,  a grey veil had been placed over my vision . . . and I was looking — ‘through this veil of darkness.’ I had three hundred and sixty degree vision (360 degree) … no walls . . . no ceilings . . . no boundaries of any kind . . . and no pain . . .

As I looked at this ‘New – Space’ that I appeared to be ‘IN’ . . . I saw the look on my doctors face as he asked the three nurses, “WHAT – happened to her!” They all three just shrugged there shoulders and said, “We don’t know!“

At this same time . . with the (360 degree) vision . . . I could see ‘Behind Me!’ I saw a small ‘dot of a bright – light,’ – that penetrated the darkness – and seemed to be pulling me backwards — towards it . . . and at the same time – I heard these words; “Your Child will die . . . you shall live . . . you’ve been given a second chance . . . A Chance at your Christianity . . . Remember . . . . . . there is a reason.” Their faces looked sad – and frightened – like they were afraid that I was dying. I remember trying to move my hand to motion to them that I was not dead! And with those words . . .I was back within my body . . . within the pain . . . and the horrible knowledge that . . . my ‘Beloved Child’ . . . . . . would die!

This experience was a ‘Unintentional-Interior Prayer (from God) Locution!’ A Locution is when God, ‘Communicates’ something – to someone. I certainly did not want to hear these words. Looking back on this experience I understand that it Was  ‘Mystical Event.’ Being ‘Mystical’ communication – with God – makes it Prayer. Therefore I now call it and “Unintentional-Interior Prayer.’

I didn’t tell a soul about this experience! I held it inside of me … and prayed so hard for my baby not to be born to early! I knew it was from God . . . but I had hoped that my pleas and prayers . . . would reverse the Message. I gradually got better until in the wee-hours of the morning on Tuesday, May 25,1976 – I began Labor . . . The nurses didn’t believe me . . . blaming my discomfort on ‘Gas’ from my surgery and the break-up of the ‘Paralytic illus.’ When my Dr. came in that morning . . I was already dilated to 4 cm. and the birth of my baby was inevitable . . . There were several mistakes made in my care . . .

Removed from that floor – I was admitted to labor and delivery. There was G-R-E-A-T sadness in my heart. The hours went slowly by — until my ‘tiny — Heather Marie was born at 5:20 pm. She was born alive . . . with no ability to survive in 1976. She weighed 11 1/2 ounces, and was 10 1/2 inches long. She was perfect in every way . . .except in her ability to survive!

That was the saddest time in my life. It was also the first time that God has taken me to another level of Spirituality, ‘Unintentional-Interior Prayer.’ One where ‘a Prophecy‘ was given . . and came true . . . and that experience shaped the rest of my Spiritual life.

I call this experience – ‘Unintentional -Interior Prayer’ . . . because I did not control any of what happened.

I believe that God spoke to me . . . because He wanted me to GROW . . . from the pain in my heart . . . God . . .DID NOT TAKE my baby from me . . . He took her to Himself . . . when . . . through no fault of mine or His . . . my pregnancy failed to keep her inside long enough to survive.

That was the deepest sadness that I had experienced thus far in my life. My mother was in the hospital at the same time, she lost her leg due to a Diabetic infection . . . and neither one of us could be with the other . . .

Other sorrows happened . . . and I held on to the Promise from God . . . “You’ve been given a second chance . . . a chance at your’ Christianity . . . Remember . . . there is a Reason!” I looked . . . for that “REASON” in everything that happened to me for many years to come. That Loss . . .Did shape my Spirituality.

That was an authentic ‘OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE also called an ‘Unintentional -Interior Prayer,’  because I did not intend to receive the Message that I heard..” And a preface to more ‘Encounters with God through my Interior Prayer!’ 

Happy Birthday my beautiful baby girl . . .Heather Marie . . .

On her first birthday,at the cemetery . . . she spoke to my heart with a lovely poem . . . with the key words being . . . “…Your love wasn’t meant for me only. So pick up and love another child...” So, I learned to ‘Live with my loss . . . not die with it.’

Thank you God, and Heather Marie Reardon, for releasing me from my heart and soul pain.

5/25/2020 Clairann Nicklin

To read more go to ‘Prayer’ new

To read more go to ‘Oral Prayer’

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To read more go to ‘Interior Prayer’

To read more go to ‘Our need for Interior Prayer’

To read more go to ‘Mystical – Relationships’

To read more go to ‘Messages in Prayer’

To read more go to ‘Mystical – Holy Spirit & Jesus

My Book “Christ in our Midst’ Was written through Prayer, and Interior prayer with God. “Christ in our Midst’ is about the “Fruits of the Holy Spirit,’ and what they are meant to do in our lives to build up the Kingdom of God. “Christ in our Midst‘  can be ordered through most local book stores, or other internet sites.